三君过后尽开颜 鸡丁手记 永远站在鸡蛋的一边(第3页/共4页)


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yselfratherthannottosee.Ichosetospeaktoyouratherthantosaynothing.

    Pleasedoallowmetodeliveramessage,oneverypersonalmessage.ItissomethingthatIalwayskeepinmindwhileIamwritingfiction.Ihavenevergonesofarastowriteitonapieceofpaperandpasteittothewall:rather,itiscarvedintothewallofmymind,anditgoessomethinglikethis:

    “Betweenahigh,solidwallandaneggthatbreaksagainstit,Iwillalwaysstandonthesideoftheegg.”

    Yes,nomatterhowrightthewallmaybeandhowwrongtheegg,Iwillstandwiththeegg.Someoneelsewillhavetodecidewhatisrightandwhatiswrong;perhapstimeorhistorywilldoit.Butiftherewereanovelistwho,forwhateverreason,wroteworksstandingwiththewall,ofwhatvaluewouldsuchworksbe?

    Whatisthemeaningofthismetaphor?Insomecases,itisalltoosimpleandclear.Bombersandtanksandrocketsandwhitephosphorusshellsarethathighwall.Theeggsaretheunarmedcivilianswhoarecrushedandburnedandshotbythem.Thisisonemeaningofthemetaphor.

    Butthisisnotall.Itcarriesadeepermeaning.Thinkofitthisway.Eachofusis,moreorless,anegg.Eachofusisaunique,irreplaceablesoulenclosedinafragileshell.Thisistrueofme,anditistrueofeachofyou.Andeachofus,toagreaterorlesserdegree,isconfrontingahigh,solidwall.Thewallhasaname:itis“TheSystem.”TheSystemissupposedtoprotectus,butsometimesittakesonalifeofitsown,andthenitbeginstokillusandcauseustokillothers－－coldly,efficiently,systematically.

    Ihaveonlyonereasontowritenovels,andthatistobringthedignityoftheindividualsoultothesurfaceandshinealightuponit.Thepurposeofastoryistosoundanalarm,tokeepalighttrainedontheSysteminordertopreventitfromtanglingoursoulsinitswebanddemeaningthem.Itrulybelieveitisthenovelist’sjobtokeeptryingtoclarifytheuniquenessofeachindividualsoulbywritingstories－－storiesoflifeanddeath,storiesoflove,storiesthatmakepeoplecryandquakewithfearandshakewithlaughter.Thisiswhywegoon,dayafterday,concoctingfictionswithutterseriousness.

    Myfatherpassedawaylastyearattheageofninety.Hewasaretiredteacherandapart－timeBuddhistpriest.WhenhewasingraduateschoolinKyoto,hewasdraf
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